Here’s a useful guide
10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE WITH ADHD
Adults with ADHD were once children with ADHD. It doesn’t just lay dormant then pop up later in life. Those with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder have dealt with it their entire lives. Since it goes undiagnosed with most people, they may not realize that they’ve had it until they get older. They may have been diagnosed by mental health professionals who believe they suffer with depression, avoidance disorder, anxiety, and/or addictive behaviours, then later are more accurately diagnosed with ADHD. The former behaviours often branch from the latter. Once people with ADHD understand the disorder and process how it affects their thinking and behaviours, it becomes easier to understand themselves- and love themselves. That’s not to say that people with ADHD are the easiest folks for others to love. They’re hot then they’re cold, they’re hyper-engaged or their totally disengaged, they’re as pleasant as a peach or as hot as fire. Here are 10 things you should know about people who live with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
1. They may be tuning you out
People with ADHD are engaged to a fault when talking about something that interests them. If it’s acting, they can rehearse lines for hours on end. If it’s music, they can practice their instrument without realizing they forgot to break for a meal. What they cannot do is feign interest when a subject doesn’t capture their attention. They often drift off into space when sitting in classrooms in grades K-12. They are not wired to be able to sit in a room full of cinderblocks with fluorescent lights and force engagement. They focus intensely on things that captivate them- to the point that they cannot stand any ambient noise or distractions. Even an air conditioner clicking on and off can rattle them! But to sit them down and try to talk to them about boring crap will get you a blank stare, and possibly even a distracted glance down at a mobile device. They are terrible party-goers, as they feel fraught with social anxiety. They worry they’ll say the wrong thing, or get caught in a conversation that they cannot get out of. If you have a spouse with ADHD, know that they listen best to bullet point information. They want to know how your day was, but they do best with brief, succinct information.
2. They are fraught with insecurity
They realize that they are wired differently than other people, but that doesn’t make it ok. They want to be accepted and appreciated. They long to stand out and do great things with their gifts. They take risks, and go for all-or-nothing. They never feel that good enough is really good enough. They have perfectionistic tendencies. They are conflict averse, but sometimes bring conflict on, themselves, by speaking whatever is on their mind in emotional moments. They never stop thinking, hashing and re-hashing situations. They wonder how they can improve relationships with themselves and others. They long for peace, but constantly feel at war.
3. They aren’t “sugar-rush” hyperactive
Sometimes, people with ADHD struggle to even find the motivation to get off of the couch. They are constantly thinking about what the value is of doing something. If they cannot justify a value in getting up and going on a jog, they’ll sit around and process it for hours. They are intuitive. They cannot turn off their brains. They may be laying around with thumbs twiddling or a knee shaking, but they aren’t necessarily running in circles like you may perceive someone with “ADHD” to do.
4. They struggle with mundane tasks
Waiting in line always seems longer to them than it actually is. They’ll say they were in traffic ‘half their lives’ when they sat in traffic 20-minutes. They lose their minds when waiting on hold with a 1-800 number. They leave things where they don’t belong, because they don’t make the time to put them away. They’re disorganized. They procrastinate on doing things that they don’t enjoy doing. They forget dates and meetings. They enthusiastically plan and begin projects, but often jump to something new before the project is done.
5. They get divorced more often than the general population
The divorce rate is nearly twice as high for couples where one partner has ADHD. Acknowledging the reality of (diagnosis of) ADHD, accepting the implications that it has on the relationship, and learning tactics that work can be hugely helpful.
It is expected that ADHD affects roughly 4 percent of the adult population.
6. They often deal with depression, addiction, and anxiety
As mentioned in the opening statement, these behaviours are not independent of a bigger issue. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder may be the root mental health problem. Depression, avoidance disorder, anxiety, insecurity, and addictive behaviours may be “side-effects” experienced by people with ADHD.
7. They are everybody’s friend and nobody’s
They are so self-conscious that they build a wall up and don’t really let other people in. They’re friendly, outgoing, fun-loving, and energetic. People tend to gravitate towards them. They have hundreds of people who think they’re their best friend. But they really only cherish the relationships with a few people, and they’re scared to death that those friends will abandon them.
8. They don’t sleep well
People with ADHD do best on a schedule. They aren’t night owls. They can best control their symptoms when they are well rested. Going to sleep takes focus for them, since their minds are constantly racing. So, they need a dark, cool, quiet room with a comfortable bed. Even still, they tend to be fidgety, restless sleepers. They’ll toss and turn all night long- but God forbid their partner make a snore! They are terrible bedfellows. If they wake up in the middle of the night because something is on their mind, they will struggle to let it go and fall back asleep.
9. They are anxious
There is never any riding the wave for people with ADHD. They constantly feel like they are swimming upstream. Because their anxiety level is high, they do best in jobs where they can be creative but not where they have to handle a lot of added stress. They get bored in mundane jobs, but are easily pushed over the edge in high-stress careers.
10. They are all over the emotional compass
People with ADHD are emotionally charged. They love deeply, and protect those they care about like a mother bear loves her cub. They express their love without holding back. On the flip side, little things may set them off into a seemingly bipolar personality. They storm through the room like a tornado, then move on and carry on as if nothing happened. The debris left from their emotional storm may affect those they care about long after the person with ADHD has forgotten about it completely. They need to be made aware of the consequences of their “emotional seizures.” In a safe way, loved ones need to express how these outbursts can make them feel. Being aware of the ramifications of their outbursts can help a person with ADHD learn to control his/her temper. Awareness is huge with this particular issue. People with ADHD don’t tend to realize that the volatile needle on their emotional compass hurts other people. Once it is brought to their attention, they can work on dialling down the needle on their compass.
Many thanks to friend to this site ‘Tony’ who found a copy after the link was broken. You’re a star Tony.