Receptionist: The doctor has a window in his diary if you’re quick. Go right in.
Man: Good morning, doctor.
Doctor: I don’t have long, I’m afraid. I have a board meeting in five minutes.
Man: Nice consulting room. Is that a Degas?
Doctor: What can I do for you?
Man: You told me to come back for a check up. You remember I was having trouble with my reforms.
Doctor: Oh, yes, that. How’s it going?
Man: Fine. Never better.
Doctor: Last time I saw you were worried about whether people were people fully behind you.
Man: Not any more. Dorrell is right behind me.
Doctor: And the stabbing pain in your back…
Man: Getting worse, if anything.
Doctor (turning to screen): We did a hearing test last time you were in and I recommended a course of treatment.
Man: I’ve been doing the listening exercises you gave me.
Doctor: And did they help?
Man: The press office seems to think so.
Doctor: Yes, and I see from your notes that Dr Field is quite pleased with your progress. I believe you also had a few difficulties passing solids.
Man: Not really. I thought I might have a blockage in the upper chamber but everything is going through nicely now.
Doctor: How are you getting on with your diet?
Man: I’ve cut back on everything. I’m about seven billion pounds lighter than when I last saw you.
Doctor: You need to be careful you don’t go too far. You need enough in your system to keep going.
Man: Don’t worry, I’m consuming a lot less but eating more in real terms.
Doctor: I’m afraid that doesn’t make sense.
Man: That’s because you’re only a doctor.
Doctor: Was there anything else?
Man: No, I think that’s everything.
Doctor: There seems to be quite a lot wrong. I’m very tempted to refer you to St David’s.
Man: I think you’ll find that St Dave’s has been reconfigured.
Doctor: You mean closed?
Man: No, just moved to a more appropriate location and integrated with a more viable facility.
Doctor: Where’s that then?
Man: I don’t think you’ve decided yet.
Doctor: I’m afraid we’re out of time. You’ll see a bill from me in due course.
Man: And you’ll keep seeing mine. I’ll see myself out.
Doctor: I certainly hope so. Good day.